He checks again, automatically; no one's in earshot.

"For the first couple of years I couldn't. Orders. After that..."

It's hard for him to remember why, come to think of it. All the missions run together, and he finds that he sometimes has difficulty keeping track as the days and weeks blur into months and years.

"There was some doubt as to whether or not they'd bring anyone back in. And rumor was you were happy."